101 Dresses

It began with a thinly veiled, desperate plea for help.

My girlfriend’s son was getting married in 9 days. How could I NOT do what I could to help her find the perfect dress for the occasion? Even though I  prefer almost any other activity to shopping, I sensed the feeling of helplessness and hopelessness in her message. We set a time and ensured we arrived at the store early in the day. This was serious business.

Our local department store was having a huge dress sale. Literally hundreds of dresses were hanging on various racks, not particularly organized in any way. All we had to do was wade through them all to find the gem that was hidden among them. She would try them on, and then, if the size was wrong, I would look for the correct one.  Sounds simple and almost fun!

With armloads of just about every color and style, Darla (not her real name) entered the dressing room while I went back to the dresses and scouted for more. Like a real trooper, she tried on dress after dress. I scooted across the sales floor, back and forth, looking for correct sizes, different colors, etc, etc. And I, of course, after her every “So, what do you think?” ,narrowed my eyes, tilted my head to one side,  stepped back… and gave her my honest opinion. We were a team. We were friends.

We critiqued each dress… the way it hung on her, the color, the fit, what we loved, what we loathed. A woman’s job is never easy! I must tell you now that most of the dresses looked really good on her. She’s a pretty woman. But still, we were looking for the WOW factor. After all, this was a wedding. But not too WOW, since she was the mother of the groom, not the bride.

As Darla stepped out of the change room and eyed herself in a full length mirror on the floor, a salesclerk stepped forward (seemingly out of nowhere) and shook her dark head vigorously. In her thick South American accent, she said “This is for a wedding?! No, no! You must wear something bright! bold! I have just the dress for you!”. She described this floor length gown that she was going to send on to another store, but would Darla be interested in trying it on. It would be purrrrrfect. How could Darla say no? Bring it on.

Oh my. It was bold. It was long. It was….. gaudy. It didn’t fit. at. all.We exchanged knowing, wide-eyed, rather helpless looks with each other as the helpful woman stepped back, smiled proudly,  and nodded vigorously.  It was hilarious, really.

Somehow we convinced the salesclerk this wasn’t exactly what Darla was looking for. We continued on with our search, with a few good, bright, splotchy bold dresses thrown in for good measure (thanks to the assistance of our ever present and  helpful salesclerk). If you ever need the help of an interested and eager person to help you find (bright, bold) clothing, I would recommend her! She was actually quite amusing. A little forceful, but amusing.

Well, as all this was going on, the other two friendly women in the dressing room joined in on the fun, eagerly giving and  asking for advice on the outfits all were trying on and even exchanging. It was like a dress up party! Let’s just say I was comfortable being the ‘eye’. Like I mentioned earlier, I’m not a shopper and hate the idea of  modelling in any way.  I decide on outfits usually alone  and in the privacy of my private change room.  After all was said and done, Darla and I had done our jobs - the shoppers walked out happy as clams, with their choices. That was satisfying. :)

Darla finally whittled down her choices to 3 dresses (not exactly those pictured below, in case you’re wondering). We looked at the time. 3 pm!!!!????? We had been in that one store, in that one department, in that one dressing room for FIVE hours! Mercy! Darla purchased the three dresses (such good deals, anyway) and decided to make her final decision at home. Maybe she would keep them all.

 

We were so pleased that she had found some beautiful, flattering, classy dresses. What I wasn’t too fond of was  the whopper of a headache that resulted. A sore back. Tired legs. I literally felt nauseous.  I think it was the air conditioning and the lighting in stores. (oh, and probably the hunger pangs). Humans weren’t meant to spend so much intense time in a windowless building surrounded by items that don’t belong to them, for more than an hour, without seeing the light of day. It’s just not healthy!

I haven’t been able to bring myself to shop at all this week. Except for groceries. I do love to eat. For that, I do what it takes.