The friendship between women is the least valued friendship. Do you think that’s true? That it falls far behind married and familial friendship? How do we show that we value each other? Do we feel that our friendships are worth investing in? Worth keeping for the long haul? Or are they quite expendable? Only kept and maintained if we personally benefit from them?
With marriage, we make pledges to each other to be faithful to each other for life. With family, we are tied by blood bonds – we love and feel responsible to each other because of that. But with friends we have chosen, there is none of that. So, what holds us together?
I remember years ago, I had a strong difference of opinion with a very good friend and really believed that we could not continue being friends because of it. I can’t remember the issue, exactly, but it bothered me so much that I felt it was easiest just to part ways. Thankfully, 20 years later, we are still friends.
The reality is friends come to us for seasons and times in our life. Sometimes they are lifelong, sometimes not.They change. Is that okay? Or is that a weakness in our friendships?
I have been blessed with some wonderful ‘girlfriendships’. But I’ve been guilty of not appreciating them all the time. I want to remember that each of them is a unique and valuable gift to me, however that looks.
As Henri Nouwen states so well:
“No two friends are the same. Each has his or her own gift for us. When we expect one friend to have all we need, we will always be hypercritical, never completely happy with what he or she does have.
One friend may offer us affection, another may stimulate our minds, another may strengthen our souls. The more able we are to receive the different gifts our friends have to give us, the more able we will be to offer our own unique but limited gifts. Thus, friendships create a beautiful tapestry of love. “
What do you love about your girlfriendships?
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awww, such a nice post...I know I sure value the friends who have stuck by me through thick and thin!
ReplyDeleteGlad you were able to keep your friendship despite a major difference. It's the old adage 'I will always love you but I don't always like what you are doing.'
ReplyDeleteTrue! And it's agreeing to disagree and not be offended by it.
DeleteOne of the things I love about my friendships is the fact they aren't cluttered by the complexities of family. Although I would have to also say that the friends I have had for decades feel like family. Great post!
ReplyDeleteVery true! I have some friends like that, too. Especially the ones from the same cultural background!
DeleteWe've moved a lot and I have lost lots of close friends over the years; we always promise to stay in touch and then life gets in the way I guess and we slowly drift apart. I do agree that we need to treasure our friendships with women more and that they are so important for our well being. Good thoughts to share today :)
ReplyDeletehave a great one!
betty
Sometimes I feel bad that I haven't stayed in touch, but that's just life sometimes. Sometimes friends are there for a season and that's okay. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
DeleteI have two really good friends. One lives about 1,000 miles away from me. We've been friends for about twenty-seven years--since we were twelve--and even though we don't see each other often, when we do meet, it feels like we're just picking up from where we left off the last time. It's a comfortable friendship, and I love that I can tell her things and know she cares despite the physical distance between us.
ReplyDeleteMy other friend lives here in town. I met her at storytime; she's also a mother with young kids, which is what drew us together in the first place. We're a lot alike and share many of the same fears and worries, particularly about our children. It's a different kind of friendship from the one I have with my childhood friend. This friendship feels more "immediate," for lack of a better word. I hope we have more than just our kids to glue us together, because I truly enjoy her company. I guess time will tell.
I've blathered on long enough. ;) It's nice to meet you! Thanks for following my blog. I'm following back. :)
I have friends that live far from me, as well, and we do just pick up where we left off when we see each other. It's great! Thanks for the follow!
DeleteI think one of the best thing about girlfriend relationships is that there is so much grace. We don't need to take vows or make official commitments or provide explanations all the time because as girls, we KNOW all the stuff we each deal with in our lives.
ReplyDeleteIt is hard and it can be weird the way friendships fade in and out. It's like you never know (in the beginning) which ones are going to be the lifers and which ones are there for a season.
That's true.. and because people are so transitory these days, friends seem to come and go a lot more.
DeleteMy female friendships complete me, not really my husband or kids, although they are wonderful, and I'm grateful. Female friends are just the best. Life experiences are similar and women tend to share their hearts easily with other women.
ReplyDeleteI agree that life is richer because of my girlfriends.
DeleteThis is always a difficult topic for me. I have been burned by girlfriends so many times in the past that I now have trouble making and keeping girlfriends. I love the idea of them but lack the trust required to make it happen. Something for me to work on in the future!
ReplyDelete