It’s no secret to those who know me that I often have a hard time deciding what to do when opportunities or needs present themselves. And there are always needs to be filled. Sometimes someone asks me to be involved in an organization or an activity, and I wonder whether I should go for it. I don’t want to disappoint the person. Yet, I don’t want to just say ‘yes’ simply because there’s a need. I can’t say yes to everything. There are so many wonderful activities to participate in, so many things to learn, so many ministries to be involved in, so many ways to spend my (limited) time and money. How do I know what I should put my energies and money into?
There seems to be several schools of thought on decision-making. (I’m assuming that, if you trust in God, you will be in a posture of wanting His will.)
1. The five second rule. Give yourself 5 seconds to make up your mind, and then go with it. And quit over analyzing. If it’s not immoral, you will be fine!
2. The Whole Hearted YES. If you can’t say a whole-hearted YES! to something, then it’s probably better to simply decline. If you’re waffling, it’s a no-go. If you instantly feel super excited and energized just thinking about the possibilities, then go for it!
3. Sleep on it. If it’s a good idea today, it’ll be a good idea tomorrow. No sense rushing into things.
4. Weigh the pros and cons. Go with the longest list.
I suppose I have used each of these at different times for different situations. I’m in the middle of having to make a decision on helping a ministry out this summer. I’m so indecisive because, if I’m honest, I want to decline, but guilt gets in the way. And need. And I wonder if I’m just being selfish. I guess by not making a decision, I’m making one.
Decision making can be hard! Do you find it hard to choose how to spend your (extra) time and money when a need is expressed to you?
Don't say yes out of guilt. Your resources are better spent where your passions are.
ReplyDeleteNow, THAT's a good answer, D! Thanks! I had to be reminded of that.
DeleteYou forgot #5.
ReplyDeleteNever say yes because you feel guilty.
mmm.. I see a theme running through these replies so far! ;)
DeleteI whole heartedly agree that guilt should never play a role. It is hard, I agree with so many needs out there but you really have to pray and hear God's thinking on it too. If it is meant to be you will feel the peace after a good discussion with Him!
ReplyDeleteI have such a hard time saying no, even when I know I'm already overextended. These tips will really help. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteMaybe your saying no will make someone else step up who themselves has been vacillating to be involved in service and maybe they are the right one for this particular position (even though you could be the right one too) but it seems if you aren't right jumping in or have the heart to jump right in, I'd say pass on it. I like sleeping on things before I decide to do something, especially if it is a big time committment.
ReplyDeletegood luck with your decision
betty
I used to have trouble saying no, but not anymore. Corgi is correct that sometimes our 'no' enables someone else to say 'yes.' Saying yes to helping everyone, or doing everything is really a bit of ego in play. We think only we can answer the need. In reality, we're not supposed to do everything, but discern what our passions/strengths are, and focus on those. This is how we do our best. That's my 2 cents. :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the tips and advice, friends! In the end, I declined except to do a bit of errand-running, which I am happy to do beforehand.
ReplyDeleteYes, I struggle to choose the most worthwhile thing, re: time and money. My husband got a bonus in April and we had a list of things to do on the house. It took us awhile to choose the best, most cost-effective thing to do. I do better w/ limited choices - one or two. Not 5 or 10.
ReplyDelete