All I Have

We are pulled over in the DQ parking lot, savoring a little evening treat, a DQ  sundae with delicious red cherry sauce dripping over the white swirled ice cream, a spur of the moment decision on our way home after a church meeting.

 I can't help but notice a  man with a scruffy beard sitting cross legged on the ground, a dilapidated canvas backpack next to him. No shirt, and a cardboard sign propped up  with the words  scrawled  in thick capital letters: HOMELESS. He's focused on juggling three small balls. 

I look at my ice cream, an indulgence, something purchased without a second thought. I look at him. I can't help it, he's right there. Our car is facing him across the lot, not really that far away. 

Do I look away and pretend he's not there? This I have done more often than not. 

"I'm going to see if I have any cash." I say to my husband as I set down my treat and shuffle through my purse to access my wallet. Yes, I have some. Just then I notice a young woman walking by who holds out her hand to the young man. He smiles at her as he receives her gift. 

I ask Dave to pull up to the space near where the  man (in his 20's? 30's? I don't really know)  sits. I exit the car and walk up to him and bend down. I ask him his name. Daniel. He looks so young. And so old.

 I hold out my hand and offer him the cash. He responds with a hearty 'Thank you!" 

Suddenly the words come out of my mouth. "May I pray for you?" 

"Oh, yes! Please do!" he says. 

My prayer is short and fumbly. I say Amen.

 "Christians are the kindest people", he says to me. "Do you have a Bible? I used to carry one in here". He points to a small pouch on the side of his backpack. 

I so wish I had one to give him, but I tell him I don't. I used to have a Gideon NT I which I kept in the car, but I took it out a while back. 

"God bless you", I say as I head back into the car. 

Then I see it in a cubby below the dashboard. An old paperback book Kept for the Master's Use which I had recently picked up on a giveaway table and had begun reading in snippets. It's based on the hymn Take My Life and Let it Be, which I loved as a young person. It's the hymn that was sung at our wedding over 40 years ago. 

The book is all I have to give. Will it be relevant? Will he understand it? Only God knows. 

I quickly return to him, show him the book, and say "This is all I have, but you are welcome to it".  

"What is it about?" he asks, as he looks at the cover. 

I explain it briefly and I tell him I hope it encourages him. "You are loved" I say. 

He smiles and thanks me. I smile back.

I head back to the car. 

I pick up my sundae and dip in for another bite, as we head home. 

~Quiet~

 I lay on the exam table in the oral surgeon's office. I look into the masked faces of the medical team- surgeon, nurse, medical assistant, and anesthesiologist. I'm going to be deeply sedated while the surgeon extracts a cracked molar that has been giving me a bit of grief. I don't think I'm nervous but my blood pressure tells otherwise. 

The nurse hooks me up to an IV and also  draws a vial of my blood which will be spun to clot it; it will later be inserted into my empty tooth cavity in order to help healing and preserve the bone.  She also places a nasal cannula up my nostrils and I can sense a light flow of oxygen. Each step is explained to me. I take a deep, slow breath. 

The doctor asks me my name, who is with me to take me home, and other basic questions. He then says that I will now be sedated. I have a sensation of something entering my veins... and then ...................... quiet....very very quiet.... 

The next thing I remember is the sound of driveway gravel. Our car comes to a complete stop. We are home. I remember nothing else--my conversation with the nurse after the procedure, how my husband helps me in and out of the car, the drive home, how he wrangles my sandals off my feet, how he helps me to the bedroom to sleep the sedation off, and removes my ice pack every 15 minutes. 

It was just a beautiful hour and a half and more of ..... QUIET. 

Initially I was only going to take local anaesthetic for this procedure, but after my consultation, I decided it might be best to take IV sedation. There would be cutting of the gum, possible cracking, pushing and pulling, and blood. Um... maybe I don't want to feel it or see it. 

 I did not feel any pain at all, and even today, I'm almost pain free. Every once in a while my tongue feels the gap in my gums, and I'm in awe of technology.  

 I'm thankful that I chose the QUIET option. 

Photo by Etienne Delorieux on Unsplash

Have you ever been consciously sedated? 

This is my Five Minute Friday link up post. Do join in! 

Frequency Illusion

 Have you ever noticed how, after noticing something for the first time, you tend to see it more often?  For example, if you have purchased a red car, suddenly red cars pop up everywhere! Or if you become pregnant, you notice all the others around you expecting as well. This is called Frequency Illusion, or even more technically, the Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon, and I think I may have experienced a form of this a few days ago. 

On Saturday,  I had the terrifying experience of being steps away from a rattlesnake. Yes, it was a rattlesnake. It definitely had a rattle that.... rattled!  Once I (somewhat) recovered from that whole experience, I saw 'snakes' everywhere! It made me want to hole up in my home! 

Thankfully, with a little time, I have gathered my wits about me, and have dared venture into the yard once again. I have to remind myself that rattlesnakes are rarely seen on properties around me; they tend to live up in the hills on the other side of the road, not near the river.  My neighbour said he's never seen a rattler in his yard in all the nine years he's lived here. So, maybe (I hope) this really was an anomaly! 

I've been a little more jittery around the garden hoses lately. I hope that settles down.