Five Minute Friday:: ~Grief~

 Good Grief 

At this moment, you may be feeling angry, sad, or perhaps resigned to whatever has caused you pain. Could it be that sometimes you aren't even aware that what you are experiencing is grief? Grief for the way things have been, and the way that this loss has torn that comfort from you. 

We have probably all heard of the five stages of grief, explained by the Kubler Ross model. Did you know that we don't all move through these stages in the same way? 

It's not a linear, tidy step by step process. There are repeats, jumps, loops, and restarts. Some move slowly through these stages, some move very quickly. There is no one timeline that all follow. 

It feels like I have been stuck in the angry stage during this time of increasing Covid measures (again)  longer than I'd care to admit. Acceptance flits by now and then, asking me to follow. But it seems that anger is the sticky stage that's easy for me to wallow in.

 How does one move through these stages in a healthy manner? I suppose it begins by accepting and loving oneself through it. Grief is normal, healthy, and even good. Being honest is the first step to a healthy resolution. However long it takes, be committed to doing the work of grieving.

 And I'm speaking to myself!  

 

Every week, a community of writers of all ages and stages gathers around a single word prompt to freewrite for five minutes flat. Join us! 

Joys and Sorrows

I haven't been in the mood for writing much lately. Most of my thoughts tend to be towards the sorrows of this world right now. I have my opinions about what's happening and why. I'm not sure what organizations or people to trust with giving accurate information anymore. What I do know is that we all are called to do what we can to make this world a better place. We are all called to love each other. We are all different, in our personalities, strengths, passions, so our contributions won't all look the same. But, we can all do something. 

Despite the heaviness that lingers lately, there is still beauty in the world, and it's okay, even GOOD to enjoy it during this time. Maybe, especially during this time. After all, isn't the desire for peace and beauty the reason WHY we protest, help, pray, contribute?

As earthly human beings, we have to take account of an earthly future. For the sake of this future we must accept tasks, responsibilities, and joys and sorrows. We need not despise happiness simply because there is so much unhappiness. We should not arrogantly push away the kind hand of God because God's hand is otherwise so hard. I think it is more important to remind one another of this in these days than of many other things..."   

 (Dietrich Bonhoeffer, pastor in Germany during WW2)

From the book: Bonhoeffer:Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy by Eric Metaxas

Social Options in a Physical Distancing Time

"Come outside, R and M are here!" 

Now, those words from my hubby I haven't heard in a while! But it was true! We were graced with an IN REAL LIFE visit! Some friends of ours drove up to our house simply to have a little (physically distant, as per the rules) surprise visit.  We had no choice but to chat outside. Unfortunately, the wind was strong and cold today, so it was a short but sweet get together. 

Have you been able to meet up with any friends or family while keeping your mandated distance doing it?

If that's not possible, here are a few face to face social network options that have worked for me lately. I've added a few apps to my phone and iPad that I will probably delete (or use less frequently) once this is over.

House Party - My sister recommended this one. This one is easy to use and fun. The drawback is that if you don't 'lock' your room, others can jump in. That's the 'house party' component.  These could be your friends OR friends of friends, so that might mean you would potentially not know everyone in the room. However, when it happened to us, it turned out to be fun. My two sisters and I were chatting when suddenly two of our adult children popped in and we had a great visit, playing Draw Something together. So, just remember, if you're having a serious private conversation, LOCK your room, just like in real life, if you don't want unexpected guests! Or use a different app!

Marco Polo - This is one of my favorites. It's like texting, except it's video, so you leave little video messages. You create your groups (one or more people to join you). It's safe and easy to use. You can easily delete the videos if you want to, and there are fun options like funny voice changes and speeding up the speech. Sometimes it's nice to see the person who's texting. This app works well for that.

Zoom - I feel like  this is the mature, older sibling of House Party. It feels serious and professional, maybe because it's the app I used when I was working as a support teacher. Easy to use and you can opt to turn off your video (for those bad hair days)  and turn off your mic (if you have little ones making lots of noise in the background). It's also got  'raise your hand' and 'applaud' features. It's definitely a winner.

FaceTime - a well known and good, simple option for two people, which is how I use it. I think it has the capability to include more than two people, but I have no experience with that. I use this to chat with my 83 year old widowed mother. 

I'm not too sure I like that my time spent engaged with my phone has increased these past couple of weeks. It's so easy to become addicted, even if for good reasons. It starts with a video chat and ends with scrolling through social media.   I think my eyes have become more sensitive to screen lighting, so I'm going to have to cut back a bit!

Have you found that you are needlessly online more than usual (or too much)  during this time?

Five Good Things

There is much today to be to be saddened about, to be frustrated about, to be anxious about, and yes, even to fear. I could probably write a long post about all of those things. But... I'm not going to, at least not today!

Instead, I'm going to think of five good things that have come out of social distancing and the other circumstances that have arisen out of the CoVid19 pandemic that we are all now facing.

1. I've become more appreciative of store employees. For some of them, their job description has changed and they are managing line ups of potentially anxious people in mostly a friendly manner. I've stayed away from stores (many have closed now)  more than usual lately, so heading to Costco this morning suddenly made this CoVid19 threat feel a whole lot more real.

We waited 40 min to enter the store. Implemented: Social distancing, cart handle wiping,
and a minimal number of shoppers allowed in at one time 

2. I'm learning new skills online, like video editing. Mind you, I'm talking about simply cutting a video up into smaller files so they will send! But maybe I'll learn how to add music too!

3. I've sent my  almost 3 yo grandson a Storytime with Oma episode. I talked to him, and read a book aloud, showing him the pictures. I realize there are MANY book reading sites online, but when OMA does it, it becomes more special. Apparently, he enjoyed it! I might bring my puppets out for the next episode ;)

Back a week or so when we could still visit regularly!

4. I've connected with a few neighbours that, honestly, I hardly know except to chat with over the back fence each gardening season (starts in May usually) or to buy honey or eggs from. This month I've had a simple chat on the phone to check in on a widow in my neighbourhood, and dropped off some fresh baked goods. I know it's important and necessary and simply the right thing to do. We all need to know someone out there is watching out for us, especially if we're elderly and housebound. I've have to push myself to do this, because I generally don't tend to go looking for strangers to visit with. But it's been good. At this time, we really can't visit in person, except to stand outside the door a safe distance away.

5. I'm showing my face a little more online. I usually like to stay quite anonymous or at least I don't put my face out there too much. But now I'm using FB Messenger Video, FaceTime, and Marco Polo more often. I love to text, but at this time in history, it just makes sense to see the faces of the people I'm communicating with. And I think that's a good thing for now! Makes us all feel a sense of community a bit more, don't you think?

What good things have you noticed in this unique time we are living through right now?