In the Moment

It's 8 am on an early September day.  My husband and I exit our home, locking the door behind us, and load up our cooler and bags into the truck, on which is perched our trusty old canoe.  My forehead wrinkles as I scan the expanse above.  Unlike yesterday,  the skies are full of clouds, obscuring most of the blue sky I was hoping for. The tree branches, having been listless for several days under the hot late summer sun, are swaying in the morning breeze. I notice the river in front of our home is looking a little agitated. 

I wonder to myself whether it's a good idea to go canoeing on the river today. After all, today the weather app says thunderstorm warning for 2 pm. The little icon with the cloud, lightning rod, and rain drops disease my mind. Literally dis-ease! I analyze every hour listed on the weather network app. I'm almost feeling obsessive. My husband doesn't seem worried at all. "Promise me we can change our mind if we drive to our starting point and the conditions are too iffy for canoeing".  He nods, continuing to carry our cooler and bag out the door, but I know he's only thinking about leaving soon so our friends don't have to wait for us.

We arrive at our meeting point, and I greet my friend. "Weather's a lot different from yesterday", I say, as  I pull on my hoodie. We both scan the skies. "Yeah, she says, "I wasn't too sure about today. I don't mind a little rain, but I don't want lightning. But Barry says there's nothing to worry about" 

We both laugh. Of course he would say that. Nothing stops Barry!  He sees the fun, not the fear! 

 "And you won't believe what I read in the Psalms this morning", I say. "Psalm 124... the waves will not overwhelm me.. She throws her head back in laughter. "For real?" she asks. I nod several times. 

"See, there's nothing to worry about" says Barry, chuckling. "The Lord will protect us!"

"But I don't want to be caught in a storm!" I respond. 

Isn't that the story of my life! I see the possible dangers, the what-ifs, the problems. Instead, I could focus on  the possibilities and the adventure. 

"I don't want to be a Debbie Downer", says my friend, "but that's better than being a Debbie Down Under!" she adds. We both laugh. We are on the same page. 

The men unload the two kayaks and the canoe and place them on the shoreline. We load up our belongings, don our lifejackets and step carefully into our watercrafts. I settle myself at the front of the canoe and grab my paddle. The air is calm and the clouds that earlier seemed ominous, look quite benign, almost beautiful. We push off from shore and our canoe glides forward.  Reach, dip, pull. Reach, dip, pull. Our adventure begins. 

And what ensues is a day of perfect paddling weather - not too hot, not too cool. Very little wind. About four  drops of rain. Calm waters. Good company. Picturesque scenes.  Several people fishing from their boats. Birds - osprey, eagles, mergansers, geese, herons. And llamas on the river shore! A welcome mid-paddling lunch stop on an isolated sandy beach on the little river island. 

How could I have been that close to considering cancelling our river paddling day? 

I know that God speaks within the details of my everyday life. Today I think he was probably chuckling a little as I read Psalm 124, and also rooting for this woman who spends more time in the past and future than in the present moment. 

Oh, dear child, you are worried about so many things. But there is only one thing needed. 

Note to self: Welcome happiness

 "As earthly human beings, we have to take account of an earthly future. For the sake of this future we must accept tasks, responsibilities, and joys and sorrows. We do not despise happiness simply becasuse there is so much unhappiness. We should not arrogantly push away the kind hand of God because God's hand is otherwise so hard. I think it is more important to remind one another of this in these days than of many other things.." 

                                                                                                                    Dietrich Bonhoeffer

                                                                                         

Monday List

 Things I Love - the October Edition

Birds - This morning I glanced out of our kitchen window and spotted at least five bald eagles standing near the river's edge on the  pebbly shore across the river. I'm pretty sure they were enjoying some of the dead salmon that are washing up after spawning. I often see a heron standing alone on the well lid near the river's edge at this time of year. A heron in flight is a sight to behold.  

October skies are amazing! 

Bone broth - After our (Canadian) thanksgiving meal, the turkey bones became a bone broth which simmered overnight.  I froze the seasoned goodness in smaller containers and stacked them in the freezer. Now, on a moment's notice, I am able to  to make turkey soup for family members who are suffering from colds or flus this season. Sure enough, the sniffles, aches, and fevers have returned. It's something I can do to help my adult kids feel better when they are feeling absolutely miserable.

Fall walks - The other day I took a long walk up our quiet road. It's one of the ways I am able to relax and find my peace when anxieties overwhelm. Sometimes I walk and just take in the beauty of my surroundings. Other times I put in my earbuds, find the RevWell podcast and 'walk the words of Jesus'. 

Reading Bible stories to my grandkids. It's one of my favorite pastimes. They are full of interest at this age.  Their eyes grow wide and they ask, "Is that a true story, Oma?". Yes, it is! I say. "Do all the stories end good?" Well, sometimes really bad things happen, and sometimes it takes a long time for things to change, but God is always with them, but yes, the endings are  happy! Isn't God amazing?

Dehydrating food - I borrowed my daughter in law's dehydrator and started with sliced apples. Dried apple slices are so yummy! I also dried some green onions, and some banana slices. My advice, banana slices don't dry very well... eat them fresh or freeze them for banana bread or smoothies! 

Cleaning up the garden beds. This fall, I've been learning about lasagna gardening, layering all sorts of mulch materials on the garden bed. I'm hoping for improved soil next spring! 

Harvesting seeds from some of our garden veggies. For some reason, I find harvesting radish seeds very relaxing and enjoyable! It's almost a meditative activity, except when the grands decide to help out! But how could I say no? ;)   Radishes aren't a favorite vegetable, I know, but they're fun to plant because they grow so quickly. Kids love that! 

Color change. I never tire of admiring the trees showing off  their autumn splendour. 

What's one favorite thing you love about October? 

Summertime...

... and the livin' is easy. So much of my life is beautiful right now. 

We've spent a week camping with family and enjoyed lazy days at the beach, hikes, and even natural hot springs in a spectacular riverside setting in the woods, seemingly in the middle of nowhere. 

 I stand outside my door in the quiet and gaze at the river, the hills and mountains. I look up at the spreading Willow  and the Russian Olive trees thriving near the river. I watch a trail of ducks paddle by. And I feel a little overwhelmed by the beauty surrounding me. I get to enjoy this every day.  

I hear the voice of my grandson "Hey, Oma!" in the morning as I step out of my little home. He joins me on a walk to the garden, looking for any changes. We move the large leaves aside in one of the raised beds and discover a cucumber! And a zucchini! We pull up a garlic bulb to see how big it is. He joyfully runs to hang it up to dry in the garden shed. He is my sidekick in the garden, for sure! 

I look at photos and texts on our family texting site and feel grateful that my adult children are all in good places right now. It hasn't always been so. 

And I remind myself... never take this for granted. Never EVER take where you are RIGHT NOW for granted. 

I feel grateful and I feel sad at the same time. 

I feel sad because our world is in such upheaval right now, and I wonder what that will mean for our children and grandchildren. 

Can one be happy and sad at the same time? I believe so. I can still choose what to focus on when life gets overwhelming. And for me, that is truth.  Living hope. Not wishful thinking. 

 Our associate pastor spoke on Psalm 23 last Sunday.  It really is one of my favorite Psalms.  

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not WANT. Or, put another way, I have EVERYTHING I need. Or, put another way, I LACK NOTHING. 

Because the Lord is my Shepherd, I have everything I need. 

This Psalm was written by David when he was being chased by a king who wanted him DEAD. How could David say words like these in those times? I ponder that a lot. Could it be because he had experienced God's rescue at other times? He had trust in his God. And because of that, he ultimately felt secure, no matter what. 

Sometimes when I wake in the night, I recite this psalm, because it gives me comfort and readjusts my focus. 

And so, I continue to enjoy life and express gratefulness for all I have been given on this day, at this time, in this place.  And I continue to remind myself that my hope is in a God who loves and cares for His creation - this world. 

In this world we will have trouble, but take heart, Jesus has overcome the world!  The future is bright! 

Thursday Things

I've been wracking my brain about what I could possibly post here that would get me out of the funk I am in lately. Today I've been reminded of the importance of gratitude, even and especially in dark times. So, instead of writing about it, I'll add some photos of what I'm grateful for today.

road trips with stunning views

carefree, laughing children and happy pets

tasty, wholesome, homemade

yellow flowers!

autumn and its changing colors

words to pray when I am faltering (thanks to Lectio365 app)

rainbows and incredible sun breaking through (no filter!)

I hope you are all keeping in mind that there is still so much good in the world. 

Blue Skies Ahead

I just noticed this blog post I had  written in early August, saved in my drafts. I've been away from home for several weeks, and just noticed it again.  Now it's nearing the end of August and this post is a reminder to me that YES, things can change and YES,  there really IS hope for better days ahead. We may have to wait longer than we wish and we won't know how the 'in between' will look. But wow, blue skies are so amazing, aren't they? This pic was taken today. 

August 3/21

The skies in our part of the province are smoky, especially in our city. There's beautiful blue expanse way up high above this blanket of grey, ashy cloud. But from down here, we see and smell smoke. Too often, we have taken fresh, clean air for granted. One day there was blue sky, and then there wasn't. We are walking through a haze and in a daze. There are risks to living in this fog, and we must come to terms with that, protecting ourselves and others as much as possible from its harm. The world we want to enjoy and share seems to be evading us. And we must accept it until relief comes --  healing rain falls, the fires are extinguished, and the cooler weather returns. 

Truth, like those magnificent, clear skies, is often hidden.  Reality is covered up.  Truth is always there,  but we have to strain to see it. Sometimes the blanket of untruth covers the skies, then clears for a time, and we experience clarity, what's really there. The blue is then SO MUCH bluer than we remember! We drink in the beauty of it. All who open their eyes can see it. We want everyone to experience it.  It's comforting to know it's always there, even when hidden by dark clouds.

To breathe deeply and fully. To feel that all is well once again. That is what my heart wants. 

 Who can we really trust? Who is telling the truth? Can we know?  

The mistrust and misleading going on  is a sad and unsettling commentary on our times. 

Some days are harder to feel hopeful than others. 

But, there IS always hope, thankfully.  We will know the truth, and it will set us free. 

Today the skies are a little less smoky than in the past week. Yay! 

The view from the sixth floor

 If we ever move, I really, REALLY want to be sure to have a view! My home doesn't have to be fancy as long as I can stand by my window and behold. 

Today my part time job took me to a little apartment complex in the downtown area of our little city. When I looked out the window of the tiny dwelling, I stopped wiping and paused.  I could live here, I thought. With a cute little apartment and this view, I'd be quite happy. 

I imagined my favorite chair arranged just so, so that I could sit comfortably to observe the goings on and admire the view. 

Of course, I'm not really ready to live in an apartment, and I think I'd probably wither without a little bit of greenspace of my own.  Where would the grandchildren play? And where would my husband work on his car renovation projects, if not for a garage or workshop? I remember having a conversation with him a while back  about downsizing to a condo (hypothetically speaking) and he responded by saying we'd have to have a really good cable package if we did that. Yikes!  That was his way of showing a strong disinterest in the idea.  

It was fun to day dream of downsizing and simplifying, but no, we're not ready for that YET! 

Awe-full moments

The other day my girlfriend and I headed for the hills nearby to hike the trails. It's a place we often frequent, but as she said, "The views never get old". It's true. I never tire of them and I pause and take in the views, snapping photos (how many photos do I really need?) Pictures never really do the scene justice, though. 

Getting outdoors and into the quiet of trail walking is one way to de-stress, and bring a calmness to often anxious thoughts. And it seems now, more than ever, we would all benefit from activities that calm our nervous system. One of these ways, I have recently read about, is to intentionally experience awe. 

What is awe? It is an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, deep respect,  etc,  produced by something grand, sublime, or extremely powerful. (dictionary.com) It often includes wonder, which is more about seeing something marvelous and asking questions about it.  Awe moves beyond self and makes us feel part of something much bigger than ourselves.

Why is awe good for us? Scientific studies related to neuroplasticity (how the brain can change) show that the sense of awe and wonder one experiences actually helps switch the brain and autonomic nervous system to the parasympathetic branch, which controls the functions needed for healing. These functions include digesting, detoxing, and balancing the immune system.  This means that by viewing awe-inspiring images, the body calms down. Our bodies can actually leave the fear swirl we might feel trapped in.  The more one experiences awe in one day, the more inflammation is reduced. 

Apparently, awe can be experienced in various ways. Intentional walks in beautiful places such as mountains, on beaches, or forest trails, prayer, meditation, lit candles, scents, and even silence cultivate a shift in the brain.  Isn't it amazing how science and biblical wisdom seem to complement each other, rather than oppose? 

I guess it's never a waste of time to linger in a beautiful space and enjoy the experience. With a busy life, that might be a lot harder to do, though! 

When was the last time you were in awe of something? 

Joys and Sorrows

I haven't been in the mood for writing much lately. Most of my thoughts tend to be towards the sorrows of this world right now. I have my opinions about what's happening and why. I'm not sure what organizations or people to trust with giving accurate information anymore. What I do know is that we all are called to do what we can to make this world a better place. We are all called to love each other. We are all different, in our personalities, strengths, passions, so our contributions won't all look the same. But, we can all do something. 

Despite the heaviness that lingers lately, there is still beauty in the world, and it's okay, even GOOD to enjoy it during this time. Maybe, especially during this time. After all, isn't the desire for peace and beauty the reason WHY we protest, help, pray, contribute?

As earthly human beings, we have to take account of an earthly future. For the sake of this future we must accept tasks, responsibilities, and joys and sorrows. We need not despise happiness simply because there is so much unhappiness. We should not arrogantly push away the kind hand of God because God's hand is otherwise so hard. I think it is more important to remind one another of this in these days than of many other things..."   

 (Dietrich Bonhoeffer, pastor in Germany during WW2)

From the book: Bonhoeffer:Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy by Eric Metaxas

~gratefulness in the autumn season~

Although September is my favorite month of the year, October isn't too bad either, especially the first few weeks. As long as there isn't any snow, it gets my vote. It's the time of year when mornings are crisp, grass is still green, leaves are starting to change color, and the skies are mesmerizing.  I am reminded what a beautiful area I live in. 

 I've started walking more regularly again, usually in the morning. I haven't been able to do too much lately due to a lower back injury that has taken some time to heal.  Just twisted the wrong way, I think, and OH. MY! I felt like an invalid.  I  vowed to get outside and walk regularly once I felt better. 

 Getting older means things don't seem to heal up as quickly as they used to. I mean, it's been over a month and I'm finally feeling close to normal! I'm able to lift, squat, do gentle yoga, and walk up and down stairs, even run again. By run, I mean walk/run a couple minutes here and there. I haven't actually RUN for a while, although I have a hankering (could be fleeting) to perhaps work up to a 5 km run again. 

Do you make vows with yourself, too? IF this, that, or the other, THEN I'll blah blah blah. 

I am regularly grateful for my health.  I certainly don't want to take it for granted. As the song says, you don't know what you've got till it's gone. 

Do you love October where you live? 

~Pause~

Day 17 Pause

I can’t wait to put my feet up tonight. It’ll be the first time I really paused all day. The sitting on a chair and relaxing sort of pause. 

Well, actually I did pause today. I had the opportunity to meet a friend for a hike and lunch, and there were a few moments in our day where we just stopped talking and walking and simply drank in the scenery. It was one of those mornings where the fog was moving through and the view was constantly changing.  It was so beautiful and scenic. So, we just stood there for a minute or two. We paused. 

all photos property of anetac

In the book of Psalms in the Bible, there are some verses that are followed by the word 'Selah'. One word. It means ‘pause’. Instead of continuing to read, it’s an invitation to take a breath and ponder what’s just been encountered.

Sometimes we race through activities when really, pausing makes us appreciate them so much more.  It could be when reading a book and a sentence just grabs you. Or it could be listening rather than speaking in a conversation. It could be sitting quietly in a chair and just … sitting. No phone, no book, no knitting. No multi-tasking.  Just sitting. That’s a hard thing for me to do. I think it’s easy, until I attempt it and then I realize my brain is really buzzing! 

Have you had an opportunity to pause today?  What gave you cause to pause?

Picking up the pieces

This little book of reflections called Winter's Promise by Ken Gire , is so full of gems! Definitely a book to keep and to give as gifts to all your friends haha! Well, especially those who identify with winter seasons in their lives. Or at least those who admit winter IS a season. Life isn't one eternal sunshiny summer, although that does sound nice!

When suffering shatters the carefully kept vase that is our lives, God stoops to pick up the pieces. But he doesn't put them back together as a restoration project patterned after our former selves. Instead, he sifts through  the rubble and selects some of the shards as raw material for another project -- a mosaic that tells the story of redemption.  (p. 83)

Good for the Soul

What better way to spend an hour or two on a beautiful Sunday afternoon than out in nature? 

To leave the city, even if it's only for an hour or two. 

To feel the crunch of the leaves and twigs as I hike up the winding path up to the top. 

To reach the top of Gibraltar Rock, getting a bird's eye view of this beautiful lake and surrounding hills.

To be reminded of the gift of life -- to feel my heart pumping and hear my heavy breathing. 

 To stop and watch for signs of life. 

To be alone -- no other humans around except for me and the one I love.  

To watch my little dog romp about and be such a trooper, even though his little legs have to work double time to climb this winding path. 

To say thanks, God, for the beauty you have created for us to enjoy and for the healing touch of your creation. 

A Wake Up Call

 Each morning at about 4:30 a.m., just as the sun begins to rise, a little bird perched in a tree outside our bedroom window begins to sing three notes repeatedly, with little pauses in between. It really sounds like the song we used to sing as children... Three Blind Mice.

With a little research, I learned that it's the Golden Crowned Sparrow. This video gives you a pretty good idea, but in reality, the little guy outside my window sings it even more clearly.

This bird is usually found in the city edges in winter along the Pacific Coast, but in the summer it prefers the tundra and shrublands ranging from BC to Alaska.

"Gold miners took cold comfort from this bird's melancholy song, which seems to reflect the bleak beauty of its surroundings".

https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Golden-crowned_Sparrow/id

Although 4:30 is a tad early to be awakened, a bird's song sounds beautiful at any time of day!