A is for Acknowledge

I've decided to join the Blogging from A-Z Challenge this year. The last time I participated was in 2012!   I'm hoping to write for 26 days in April, completing this challenge, and checking out some other brave writers as well! :)

My theme this year is  The Little Things - Lessons on Living Well.  Both my little trusty canine companion Enzo (a chihuaha) and my adorable almost -2- year- old grandson C have reminded me that the little things in life ARE the big things. Hope you enjoy my brief and hopefully encouraging posts!

~A is for Acknowledge~

Whether I've been gone for five minutes or five hours, Enzo always acknowledges me when I step in through the front door. He doesn't simply look up from his bed, but he barks and, when released from his crate,  runs at me, then  past me like a crazy little beast, slides across the laminate floor, and heads back, circling me, looking for a pat and a playful push. Crazy dog is just overjoyed to see me! And that feels good. Every. single. time. And I never tire of it.

Showing our loved ones that we're happy to see them can make a big difference!

1933-2017

I know there are a few of you out there who read my blog regularly (even though often my posts are few and far between).  I have shared about my dad's cancer journey in a few posts over the last few years, so I thought you might want to know about today. 

One week ago I kissed my 83 year old dad goodbye and flew home, after spending a week helping my siblings, mom, and extended family care for Dad in the hospice he had been moved into a couple weeks earlier. It was a gift and a privilege to spend time with him, hugging, praying with him, talking him through spasms of pain, playing his favorite worship music, holding his hand, helping him eat and just being with him. He couldn't really carry a conversation anymore, but he sure brightened up when family was in the room.

Early this morning, my dear beloved dad passed away. My one-of-a-kind gentle, loving father who quietly lived his faith through his deeds, took his last breath here on earth in the early hours of the morning, and is now pain free and whole in every way. He is now supremely happy in heaven with his beloved Jesus, the One he gave his heart to many many years ago.

He had suffered from prostate cancer, then bone cancer, for 6 years, bravely fighting it until his body got too tired. And with some dementia as well, it was time to let go.

We did not know when he would take his last breath. First it was months, then weeks, then last Sunday we were told days. But no one really knew. As my brother said, it was like taking steps down the stairs, with pauses and then another descend, and sometimes, surprisingly, a step or two back up. I was kept posted daily, sometimes hourly.

Whoever has ever witnessed the last months of life of an elderly loved one knows that often dying is a process with so many ups and downs, hopefulness, hopes dashed, seeing progress, seeing pain, frustration, witnessing the decline, the vulnerability, the fear, the uncertainty, the faith, the knowing, the love, the joy, the tears, the hugs, the kisses, the prayers, the thankfulness, and the mixed deep emotions.

And then the phone rings much too early,  and one hears the words, "Dad passed away early this morning".

That's what my day has been like today.

We are one blessed family. Having parents who loved each other and loved their 7 kids fiercely, not perfectly,  but deeply and with such commitment.


I've often said to friends, I don't know what I'll do when my dad passes away. And now this day has come. I'm taking time to cry and laugh, to reminisce, to share my sorrow with my friends and family, and looking forward to flying out again in the next day or so to again spend time with my family and help make the plans for the memorial service.

Although I've said goodbye and shared many hours together recently,  and spoken words of comfort to my dad, I still am sad that I missed his last moments. As much as I tell myself it's okay.

It's been a weird day. I'm feeling at odds with myself, sometimes now knowing how to feel, then being surprised by a wave of sadness overwhelming me. Lots of texting and what'sapping with siblings.  And my own husband and children, too, are grieving in their own way.

I will get through this, but never over it.  Until we meet again, dearest dad.

Love you forever, Dad! 

Getting Through February

February is not my favorite month of the year, although I do like it better than January.With February the promise of Spring is that much closer. I know, we have almost another official month of winter, but around here the snow is gone and it's not really that cold out any more. Still hovering around freezing in the morning sometimes, but still, it could be worse!

So, what's gotten me through February, a month that finds me mostly indoors sipping coffee (one cup a day usually-- I really do sip!) whittling away at portfolios, and dreaming of warmer days?

A trip to the coast! We celebrated my mother in law's 86th birthday together with a slew of family. A great weekend.

This little guy. He is my companion. He is a blessing in my life. He makes me laugh. He gets me off my chair,  taking little breaks throughout the day. He sleeps quietly as I work. And he's always over-the-moon happy to see me when I return home from outings. Talk about an esteem booster! No, I'm not talking about my hubby although he does fit the bill in some ways!haha!

Books!  I've got a few on the go. Just finished Someday Someday Maybe by Lauren Graham. I saw it recommended on Goodreads and decided to finally read it. A twenty something tries to make it as an actress in New York. A cute, funny quick read with some great characters.
I'm also reading In the Land of the Blue Burquas by Kate McCord. It was written before Farewell, Four Waters, which I just finished a few weeks ago. But I don't think it really matters that I'm reading in reverse order. It's giving me more insight into the culture in Afghanistan, and the life of a foreign aid worker. Fascinating.
I am half way through The Weird Sisters by Eleanor Brown. Three adult sisters converge on their home town to visit their mother who is battling cancer. All about family relationships, importance of home, growing up, and figuring out life. The title refers to Shakespeare and the father quotes Shakespeare all the time (his daughters are named after characters) and all members of the family are book nerds. I wasn't sure I was going to like this book, but it's grown on me. It's my bedtime read.

Spotify. I listen to music all. day. long. sometimes. Music to reflect my mood or to get me out of my mood! Or to motivate me to work.
Classical, contemplative, meditative, acoustic, counry, jazz, pop. Adele, Andy Grammar, Andra Day, All Sons and Daughters, Rend Collective, The Brilliance. etc etc.  If you're looking for some new music, check out Spotify. It's free and it recommends music based on what you like, so there is always something new to explore. 

Podcasts. I've added a few more to my list. Don't listen to every
episode but sure do enjoy them. I find the ones that are about 30 minutes in length are just about right. Any longer, and I skip them because I don't always have one hour to listen.  A few others I enjoy: The Essential Oil Revolution, Spark My Muse, Katy Says with Katy Bowman

Knitting. Been enjoying knitting a comfort shawl and socks this winter. And some bibs and dish cloths. Just small items but it's great to have something on the needles when I feel the urge to create something tangible. And they make great little gifts to give away.

Netflix. My hubby and I try to find something we both like to watch together one or two nights a week. We are not always successful. We did watch Making a Murderer together and I have to say we were sucked right into the drama of that documentary. Truth and justice and the miscarriage of it. Who knows what the the truth is when people lie through their teeth? Yes, it was a pretty biased documentary, but we had some good discussion while watching that. Still confused about what really happened. It was hard to watch at times, just seeing the depravity and awful lives some people live. Sad. I couldn't watch too many shows like this, that's for sure. We binge watched it for about 2 weeks.  I think I prefer fiction! He likes shows with zombies or war  and I would rather watch an episode of Downton Abbey or Mr Selfridge, but the verdict is still out on the latter. Haven't continued for a few weeks. Sometimes we watch  an episode of  the murder mystery Death in Paradise. It's good!  I'm waiting for Nashville Season 4 to come to Netflix. And looking foward to watching the next season of The Voice (on the CTVgo App) . Got any recommendations for must-see TV shows on Netflix?

Planet Woman - got a membership for one month because my kids encouraged me to sign up for a 5km trail run at the end of March, and how am I going to be able to do that if I don't grow my muscles and my cardio?! Don't always want to go but always glad when I do. Except when I'm sore afterwards. And recovery takes longer than it used to! Soon I must transition my workouts to the outdoors..actually running 5 km!! Doesn't sound like much except if you haven't done it in a while! I'm a little bit concerned... but --as my daughter in law mentioned "There's no shame in walking". I'll try to embrace that thought.

and finally...

Z is for Zumba. Imagine doing Zumba with a band of church ladies aged 19-50-something? To hip hop music? Imagine the fun and comeraderie. Yes, it brings some much needed levity to my Wednesdays. We don't do the moves very well at all, but it's good for a laugh, it's a workout, and it's a way to connect with those I mostly just see at church happenings.

What got you through February?

signs of life in the dead of winter

Half way through January already!??

*techy (or rather non-techy) alert: pictures didn't appear earlier.. hope they show up now. 

I'm slowly slipping back into daily routines. Still finding it hard to jump out of bed with wide eyes and a spring in my step.  Winter makes one so hibernative (I think I made that up), doesn't it? I simply want to stay home and unsubscribe to all of my outside obligations at times. But, I know that that would not be a healthy decision! Once I get out there, it's all good.

Sometimes I do wonder why we live where we do. Last weekend, the mountain passes were clear, so we took a quick 3 1/2 hour trip down to the coast. It was so wonderful! I felt like we had just bypassed a season and waltzed into early Spring! Sunshine and no snow!

winter where my sister lives 

winter where we live 

Speaking of unsubscribing, today I checked out this very interesting site called unroll.me which helps clean up your inbox by managing subscriptions. It's a simple way to unsubscribe, keep, or send to 'rollup' (which sends you ONE email a day with any updates on those).  Am I the only one who is a subscription junkie? 

Which leads to a very full inbox. Overwhelmingly so. I had over 100 subscriptions (newsletters & blogs) between my 2 email addresses (that's besides my bloglovin' subscriptions). I know. I think I'm down to about 40 now.

Whittling down the reading list is going well. But the day AFTER I blogged about not purchasing any new books this year, I received a very generous Amazon gift card in the mail from my dear friend (who knew nothing about my challenge). Yes, it's true!! But I am holding off. This past week I was so close to purchasing a book to read along with an online book club, but I steeled my resolve and inquired if the local library could obtain it for me.. Win!

Winter is for indoor projects. I am super pleased with the guest bedroom reno we finished in one weekend. Mr. Handyman worked on the floors, and I painted walls and refinished old furniture.

out with the old carpet,
in with the new laminate

ready for a vintage-y look

guest room ready for company!

 And some Me Time has led to..

 Experienced a mild second-sock-syndrome-- weeks--
-- nothing as serious as last time!

wintergreen dishcloth

adding to the gift box- for the next wee baby girl I meet

Being hibernative doesn't mean being unproductive, right?

Hope you are enjoying the season you are in right now!

Oh, and I can't sign off without giving a Happy Birthday!!! shout out to my dear adventurous daughter who is trekking in the country of Myanmar (Burma) at this very moment! 

When Life is a Roller Coaster

Life might be a highway, but it's definitely not a straight stretch of ribbon! It's sometimes more like a roller coaster moving through the dark--sometimes slow, sometimes fast, sometimes high, sometimes low -  don't you think?

One day you wake up with a big smile on your face. Life. Is. Good.

Little, simple things bring you joy.

You received the news you had been waiting for.

You feel good. You have purpose.

All is well in your little world.

In fact, you feel on top of the world.

God is good! you say.

Then you hear that bit of disappointing or confusing news.

Or you read something tragic and scary in your news feed or in your local newspaper.

Or you wonder if your life is making a difference, because it sure doesn't feel like it.

Or your physical health isn't optimum, and productivity is a thing of the past.

Is God still good? you wonder

Or you just seem to be coming up against the same struggles and nothing ever seems to change, even though you have hope and faith.

And you start thinking about the future. Tomorrow and the hundreds upon hundreds of tomorrows which may follow and what they are going to look like. How uncontrollable the future really is.

You read more about horrible events in the world with no quick solutions in sight.

And you worry.

Is God still good? you ponder

Then you receive a hopeful word.

You have the most encouraging time with friends.

Their prayers are being answered!
Your prayers are being answered!

Changes are happening.

And the sun is shining again.

And all seems well with the world.

Isn't God good! you say

And then your heart breaks for your friend, who just shared something hard with you.

And there are no easy fixes.

It's complicated.

Tragedy strikes.

And  personal dreams shatter.

Is God still good? you ask yourself

And there aren't any wise little sayings or pithy quotes that are going to really make a difference.

All you can do is trust, wait and learn to see in the dark.

And believe,

simply (but often not easily)

believe

that

God is always good.

Oh, Lord, I do believe. Help my unbelief. 

The Gift I See in You

The gift I see in you is....

your vulnerability, your 'this is who I am' honesty

your faith and positive outlook

your courage and tenacity

your gentle spirit

your infectious smile

your devotion to your faith, no matter what

your sense of humor

your individuality

your deep thoughts

your sensitivity

your care for others who are needy

the way you grab onto life and experience it

your calm and gentle voice

your willingness to try new things

your encouragement, continually

your amazing energy

your quiet disposition which has such a calming effect

the way you give of your time to others

your words of encouragement and honesty

your gentleness and care towards others

your hugs that say "I am so glad to see you"

your wacky sense of humour

your ability to make me laugh

your willingness to engage in difficult conversations

your unconditional acceptance of others

your simple, sweet hospitality

your wisdom and the way you share it in your writing

your friendship and care towards others

your willingness to forgive and continue on

your amazing artistry and your humility combined

your commitment to what's important

your courage to keep going when life is hard and scary

your celebration of the gift of life

how you share what you have with others

your attitude towards learning and growing

your attitude of gratitude

your tender, compassionate heart

your honest words, unfiltered

your tears

your imagination

your willingness to share the gift of who you are


I am thankful for my friends and family! Because of who you are, I have learned more about myself and I am inspired to continue becoming more fully who I was created to be.

For we are God's masterpiece (work of art). He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. 

Ephesians 2:10 NLT

Do you see yourself as a gift?

Life...a Beautiful Choice

Today, I joined a friend to be a part of the Life Chain, a national event one Sunday a year where those who believe in the sanctity of life and the value and humanity of every unborn child, line a busy street, standing quietly and prayerfully, holding signs that remind the community of this truth.

Take my hand, not my life.

We are Voices for Life

Life.. A Beautiful Choice

.. and others, but those are the ones I remember right now.

When our children were school age, we used to participate as a family every year. But I haven't participated for several years. I decided to follow my heart and attend this year.

Sadly, I think I was the only participant from my church of probably 350 people. Maybe no one else knew about it. But, the truth is, even when it's been advertised in the bulletin, very few actually show up. Disappointing. It isn't something that people jump to do. I understand that. Even some Christians feel it does no good and causes divisions. I think if it's peaceful, positive, and prayerful, it's a good thing. It keeps the issue alive and forces people to think about it, even for 30 seconds, as they drive by. Maybe it starts a conversation that wouldn't have happened otherwise. We ARE talking about life and death of an unborn child and a violent solution to a hurting woman's crisis. There HAS to be a better way for a civilized society to help women and children, doesn't there?

I hate confrontation and I don't go out of my way to make a scene. This was definitely NOT in my comfort zone. And I'm not alone in that sentiment. But I'm glad I went anyway.

I had a great conversation with the guy standing beside me. He wasn't exactly excited about standing on the sidewalk holding up a poster, either, but said he felt it was the least he could do, and compared to what happens to other Jesus followers around the world who stand up for what they believe, this is not too 'risky'. And we both agreed we were glad we did decide to come. There is something about standing unified with other people from various churches (He is Catholic, I am Protestant). How often do we actually do that... join together as Christians.. across denominations?

Apparently last year there were a few angry hecklers who confronted several participants.  But, thankfully, this year was a peaceful hour, with lots of positive thumbs ups  and honks from drivers passing by. Maybe one or two who showed their disagreement by yelling or flipping the bird. But that was minor.

I do believe there is value in this 'demonstration' but it definitely shouldn't and doesn't stop there. Thankfully, I have met many people who give of their time and money towards helping women in distress, and providing comfort and practical solutions. That is what we are called to do. 

The Life Chain was a good choice for me this year.