1933-2017

I know there are a few of you out there who read my blog regularly (even though often my posts are few and far between).  I have shared about my dad's cancer journey in a few posts over the last few years, so I thought you might want to know about today. 

One week ago I kissed my 83 year old dad goodbye and flew home, after spending a week helping my siblings, mom, and extended family care for Dad in the hospice he had been moved into a couple weeks earlier. It was a gift and a privilege to spend time with him, hugging, praying with him, talking him through spasms of pain, playing his favorite worship music, holding his hand, helping him eat and just being with him. He couldn't really carry a conversation anymore, but he sure brightened up when family was in the room.

Early this morning, my dear beloved dad passed away. My one-of-a-kind gentle, loving father who quietly lived his faith through his deeds, took his last breath here on earth in the early hours of the morning, and is now pain free and whole in every way. He is now supremely happy in heaven with his beloved Jesus, the One he gave his heart to many many years ago.

He had suffered from prostate cancer, then bone cancer, for 6 years, bravely fighting it until his body got too tired. And with some dementia as well, it was time to let go.

We did not know when he would take his last breath. First it was months, then weeks, then last Sunday we were told days. But no one really knew. As my brother said, it was like taking steps down the stairs, with pauses and then another descend, and sometimes, surprisingly, a step or two back up. I was kept posted daily, sometimes hourly.

Whoever has ever witnessed the last months of life of an elderly loved one knows that often dying is a process with so many ups and downs, hopefulness, hopes dashed, seeing progress, seeing pain, frustration, witnessing the decline, the vulnerability, the fear, the uncertainty, the faith, the knowing, the love, the joy, the tears, the hugs, the kisses, the prayers, the thankfulness, and the mixed deep emotions.

And then the phone rings much too early,  and one hears the words, "Dad passed away early this morning".

That's what my day has been like today.

We are one blessed family. Having parents who loved each other and loved their 7 kids fiercely, not perfectly,  but deeply and with such commitment.


I've often said to friends, I don't know what I'll do when my dad passes away. And now this day has come. I'm taking time to cry and laugh, to reminisce, to share my sorrow with my friends and family, and looking forward to flying out again in the next day or so to again spend time with my family and help make the plans for the memorial service.

Although I've said goodbye and shared many hours together recently,  and spoken words of comfort to my dad, I still am sad that I missed his last moments. As much as I tell myself it's okay.

It's been a weird day. I'm feeling at odds with myself, sometimes now knowing how to feel, then being surprised by a wave of sadness overwhelming me. Lots of texting and what'sapping with siblings.  And my own husband and children, too, are grieving in their own way.

I will get through this, but never over it.  Until we meet again, dearest dad.

Love you forever, Dad! 

The Blur of Summer Activities

This past month and a half have been a blur of activity. It seems we've hardly been home. I think I'll have to call this 'The Summer of the Great Grand (extended) Family' because we sure did see a LOT of each other! No complaining here. I still think it wasn't long enough.

Mid July - participated in our annual (I think it's been going on 5 years now.. ) Family Campout-- all campers related in some way. Pretty cool.  This year, we even ordered camp shirts, the logo designed by our personal graphic artist (my son).   Little E was gifted a onesie but wasn't too impressed so he only wore it for pictures. ;)

laughing on cue ;) 

Early August - our annual trip to Cortes Island to visit with my hubby's family. At one point there were 19 people camping on the property for a few days. A 98 year old aunt came to check out 'the resting tree' where several beloved extended family members' ashes have already been scattered over the years. Hope that isn't too morbid to mention.

August 13 we celebrated my parents' 60th Anniversary in Alberta, a day's drive away.  (I had blogged about it here, wondering if my dad would live to see this day. Thank you Lord, for this gift of time! ) Original plans were to meet in Jasper, a more central location, but plans changed due to Dad's health. The big party took place at my brother's acreage, with over 70 family members present!  That's what happens when you come from a family of 7 children and those children have children, and so on..  ;) We were only missing 4 people (and we did miss them)!  It was a full day of eating, chatting, laughing, hugging babies, laughing at the antics of children at play, biking (for some) and a day long bocce tournament for many competitive souls.

We Are Fa-mi- Ly!

 If you asked my parents, they would tell you over and over how special this day was for them. And that was the main thing. They loved the relaxed atmosphere and comforts of being at my brother's home. Our dad really amazed us all with his energy! We are thankful for every day we have with him, and it was so good to see him smiling pretty well all day long (with a few hours long nap break, of course). Mom couldn't get enough of the socializing. She made a point of talking to every single person there. Pretty amazing.

I am glad to be home once again and to stay put for a few days. A few more short excursions are planned before I settle back into my work again come late August. I must make every day count!

Hope you have been able to make some happy memories this summer, too.

THAT Kind of Dad

Growing up in our family, 'Because I said so' was a phrase I don't think I ever heard coming from my dad.

 Because he was THAT kind of dad. 

He was not a dad to fear, although I had a healthy respect for him. And he demonstrated respect for his seven children, too. I think that's what made him such a wonderful dad.  He was a man of few words, but his actions spoke volumes.

Most of my teen years were spent on our small family- owned mushroom farm in the Fraser Valley. Dad wanted our input on what to call this new venture (we chose Meadowview Mushroom Farms) and while my dad and oldest brother ran the farm, all the other older children and my mom helped to make it work, too.

When Dad first bought the farm, he couldn't afford to hire too many people, so we worked A LOT! After school, weekends, and sometimes even during school. Sometimes we worked well into the wee hours of the morning, picking mushrooms at their prime. If not, they would 'open' and be relegated to 'second grade' and we wouldn't be getting top dollar for them. My dad couldn't afford to pay us for our work that first year, but when that second year rolled around, he asked each of us what we would like to have as a thank you for all the help we had given him. I asked for a horse. And I got one.

He was THAT kind of dad. 

When I graduated high school, I decided to work full time for Dad for one year before going on to university. Why wouldn't I want to work for my dad? He was the BEST BOSS EVER. And my mom made our coffee breaks the best, too! (coffee, cookies, and conversation in the kitchen twice a day! )

By that time I had been working part time for several years, and making decent money, too.

He was THAT kind of dad. 

He had hired a crew by then, including a couple of my girlfriends. One day Dad told me he had decided that paying us by the pound, rather than an hourly wage, might be a better way to go and would perhaps increase productivity. My girlfriends and I didn't like that idea one bit, for several reasons. It would increase competition between us (fighting for the most loaded mushroom beds, for one) and take away from the joy of working together. So, we promptly formed a 'union' (in jest), ordered matching bright yellow T shirts with a huge mushroom decal on the front and the words:  I must be a mushroom...everyone keeps me in the dark and feeds me B.S.  It's true! We really did this and my dad got a good laugh out of it. We presented my dad with reasons why getting paid by the lb. wasn't really a good idea at all. And Dad changed his mind. He respected us enough to rescind his decision, even if it might have not been the best financial decision for him. My respect for him just kept growing.

He was THAT kind of dad. 

I have lots of other reasons why my dad is still in the GREATEST DAD EVER league, but this is what came to me as I was thinking about my dad yesterday.

Last week we took a quick trip over to Alberta to see my parents and I got a huge hug from my dear Pops. The drive was worth it :)

What a gift to have THAT kind of dad!